Oh my god I found my lipgloss! I can’t live without it. It’s like heroin.
Some early 20s chick. Don’t think she knows what heroin is.

Do you know teenager me?

  • Guy: I want to sing. Do you have Korn Adidas. Do you know that song?
  • Me: .......

1 note

Not sure how to caption ….

Not sure how to caption ….

1 note

What’s the closest star to the earth? The sun. You’re too hot for it.
Drunk 60 year old pick up artist

Work.

  • Drunk Hipster: You never called me.
  • Me: Oh! I'm so sorry! What did you sign up for?!?! {flipping through karaoke slips}
  • Drunk Hipster: No. You never CALLED ME. I gave you my phone number last week.
  • Me: AH. Oh right. Well, I still have a boyfriend. It's only been a week since you tried to hit on me.

Your stumbling drunk karaoke song must feel like 200% tonight.  Sorry about all day tomorrow.

"Can I sing Tuesday’s Gone" by Skynyrd?

"Can I sing Tuesday’s Gone" by Skynyrd?

I’m not a good singer. Is that okay?
Drunk girl